Stay Soft

Hi marrieds!

Ethan and I have been married for a solid four months now, so CLEARLY we’ve got this whole married thing down… So don’t hesitate to contact us if you want advice or have questions about how we made it this far 😉 haha. All kidding aside, we are in it for the long haul! We are convinced that although we had an incredible 2.5 month honeymoon, our life together is only going to get better and better from here! There is something inside us that REFUSES to settle! Our goal isn’t just to stay married until the day we die. No! Our goal and purpose is for Jesus to get His full reward in our marriage and in our lives. This will only happen when we lay our hearts, dreams, desires, feelings, fears, hurts, and insecurities down before God and daily ask Him for wisdom, guidance, and grace. I do not claim to know how to be the perfect wife — my goodness, do I need His help! haha. But I am going after this– to be the best wife I can be. Ladies, shall we go after this together?

In my blogs to marrieds, I do not have wisdom from many years of marriage to offer, but rather my desire is to be an open book as I process what I am learning along the way. Cause let’s be honest, I did not need to be married long to learn that marriage is not always happy feelings and Hallmark moments. I am learning that we must be intentional in showing one another love and meeting each other’s needs or else it is easy to start to feel not valued. It may not always be easy and it may not always be convenient, but I am committed to do my part to make my husband feel loved, valued, important, encouraged, and respected. And I know that I can only give what I have first received. So I can either wait to show him respect until he shows me love, or I can choose to spend time in God’s presence being reminded of God’s heart for me and His love for Ethan. If I do the former, I will spend a lot of time feeling hurt and offended as I wait. If I do the latter, my perspective changes and I can then offer my best to my husband as I am filled with a new hope and grace. I know that no matter what Ethan does or doesn’t do, I am still fully responsible for how I respond. And let me tell you, “a soft answer” does not come naturally to me… hardening my heart and walking away angry is what comes naturally. But I do not want to stay that way and I am asking God to help me. And He is! God has been reminding me in those moments of offense to keep my heart “soft” towards Ethan. Proverbs 15:1 teaches us that “a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” God wants us to turn away all wrath (fear, hurt, anger, and offense) in our marriage so that we can fully experience that ABUNDANCE that He has for us in this most special relationship.

This week (and always) I challenge you guys to make an intentional effort to “stay soft” towards your spouse when you feel hurt, angry, or offended. Each time you do, you are sowing seeds of grace into your marriage. After all… what we sow, we reap. 🙂

XOXO

Sammy Kastello

P.S. We have a lot of fun when our hearts are soft towards each other… 🙂