When I was four months pregnant with Rory, our 21 month old son was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor. He underwent brain surgery to remove the tumor and then we were told that he would need to go through six rounds of high dose chemo. At the time, I had no idea where we would be when it was time to have baby girl. We were living at the hospital and, because of a covid parent policy, my husband and I weren’t allowed to be in the hospital together with our son. He ended up doing nights and I spent days with our son, Eliam.
Kind of crazy, our ultrasound to find out baby’s gender was scheduled for the same day as Eliam’s nine hour brain surgery. I went back and forth on whether to reschedule or not but ultimately decided that today, while our son was getting a large tumor removed, we would chose to celebrate life- both our new baby’s and our son’s. We were SO excited to hear that we would be having our first daughter! We came back to the hospital after finding out, and as I waited outside the building with my family, Ethan went up to our room and put a big pink heart in the window. I had my family turn around and as soon as they saw it they started jumping around in excitement.
From the outside looking in, having another baby while our son was going through chemotherapy was pretty terrible timing. But that wasn’t actually the case at all. In fact, God timed her coming so perfectly! Both inside the womb and out, her constant companionship has been a tremendous blessing to me and our family.
Now, back to the birth story…
When I went in for my 33 week appointment I was told that because of a covid hospital policy I could only have one support person in the hospital with me when I gave birth and that even one person was not a guarantee because policies were constantly changing. As the nurse was telling me this, I literally thought to myself “I’m never coming back here. I’m doing a homebirth”. And I never went back.
I found an amazing midwife, Pauline, through a couple of friends and when I first met her she just held me and I bawled in her arms for several minutes. I had SO much going on emotionally and I believe God led me to her so that she would be the hands and feet of Jesus ministering to me through my pregnancy and birth.
As I previously mentioned, as we went through the first half of Eliam’s treatment, I had no idea where we would be when I actually went into labor. Miraculously (literally a miracle, this is in no way an exaggeration) we were home for a couple of weeks before we had to move two hours away and live in a different hospital for the bulk of the next five months.
I was 38 weeks+6days pregnant when we had a super last minute baby shower. The next day, at exactly 39 weeks pregnant my midwife started me on some remedies to try to naturally induce me. We decided to do a natural induction because we only had two weeks before we had to go back to the hospital for Eliam and I deeply desired time at home with Rory before then. I asked God for two weeks home and we ended up getting almost exactly that!
Just a few hours after starting the natural induction, my body went into labor! I had some castor oil at 12:15pm on September 6th and began having consistent contractions at 3:55pm. I labored for a couple hours, taking black and blue cohosh every ten minutes. Let me tell you, those things are nasty! Contractions were consistent still but not super intense. After a few more hours, at 6:25pm I had another dose of castor oil. Right after, we did my first membrane sweep. Contractions continued but weren’t very strong yet. After a few more hours, we decided to try to get some sleep. My family went back to their house for the night and I tried to get some sleep. Eliam was asleep, Ethan was asleep, but I was up all night with contractions and excitement lol. I wanted to let Ethan get some more rest so I called my sisters around 4am to come over and give my back some counter pressure during each contraction because they were getting increasingly stronger. They were amazing and came right over. We hung out and watched tv while I bounced on my medicine ball and said “help” each time I got another contraction. Then one of my sisters would rush over and rub my back. Total lifesavers! I woke Ethan up and called my parents over around 6:30am because contractions were getting stronger and I needed more distractions haha. One of my sisters stayed behind with Eliam while he slept and the rest of us went for a walk to my favorite coffee shop, Badfish Coffee. Funny enough, it was now Labor Day, Sept 7th, and here I was laboring. Contractions became pretty painful and I would have to stop, say “help”, and have someone rub my lower back. “Help” was the best word to describe what I needed haha! By the time we got back, Eliam was up. My dad played with and cared for him while I labored with the rest of my birth team (thanks, fam lol). My midwife came over and swept my membranes once more after she noted that I was only 4cm dilated. Things continued to pick up and around noon I asked my midwife if I could get in the birthing tub, in hopes that warm water would help with the pain. We decided to have her try to break my water first, as that tremendously helped me progress with Eliam. She did so and I didn’t think contractions could be much more intense but boy was I wrong lol. I took one last bump pic (super glamorous, thanks Depends) and at 12:30pm I got into the tub. Best feeling ever! Ok, not quite, but the water did help a bit. Each contraction was all consuming and, if I’m being honest, extremely painful. Pauline was down by my ear, praying over me and reminding me to slow my breathing down. She checked me and I was 8cm dilated and definitely in transition. Minutes later I had the urge to push. Pauline told me to try not to push as to avoid tearing. Contractions were so painful that I thought to myself, “I rather tear and get baby girl out sooner than have to go through any more contractions!” haha. Two pushes and I felt Rory move down (a feeling I never had with Eliam, though I labored without an epidural with him too). It was so wild! One more push and her head came out. One more and the rest of her body followed – our sweet girl was here after less than ten minutes of pushing! September 7th, at 1:37pm, Rory Redemption Kastello was born weighing 7lbs 11oz and 20in long. Holding her for the first time was easily the most emotionally overwhelming (in a good way) moment in my entire life.
We stayed cuddling in the tub as Ethan put Kari and Cody Carnes song, “The Blessing” on. We sang this song over her and I felt the tangible presence of God. To be honest, I felt God’s presence during the entire labor. After about an hour I handed Rory to Ethan for a few minutes of skin to skin with him while I got into bed. I cannot even say how amazing it was to climb into my own bed right after giving birth! Rory was handed back to me and my midwife stitched me up. I tore because she came so fast but I am still convinced it was worth it to avoid more contractions! Haha.
We had one day shy of two weeks at home. They were restful and healing. My midwife ordered me not to leave my bed for a week and not to leave the house for two weeks. I obeyed for a week and a half lol. I am honestly so thankful I listened to her though and had an entire week in my bed resting and healing! Precious time with Rory that I can never get back. 13 days after Rory was born we loaded up as a family and drove two hours away. We spent the majority of the next five months living at the hospital. But those are stories for another day.
I am deeply grateful for my midwife, my husband, and my family’s help and support throughout my labor. I will definitely be seeing Pauline and doing another home birth with my next pregnancy! Amazing experience and such a redemptive birth. So thankful!
